The harsh reality is that death is for all, but grief is for the living. As difficult as it may be to think of our lives ending, it is more taxing to consider the passing of a loved one. Often times, people come to accept and prepare for their demise. That may not always be effective in providing intended relief for those closest to us. We must be considerate of the remaining individuals who will be left to mourn.
Someone in my most inner circle once sat me down to discuss the reality of their demise and how much they desire to be cremated. My initial response was sure, it's your world and I'm living in it. It hadn't crossed my mind that I simply felt indifferent because I would be honoring the request asked of me. Once someone else flat out said no, I was forced to consider why they would respond outwardly selfish. After careful analysis, I realized that the difficulty in respecting that dying wish had everything to do with managing immediately painful and surreal thoughts and feelings. I cannot say what is the fair action to take. Should we accept and respectfully allow grief to be managed by the living?